Arguments are disruptive, destructive and demoralizing. That's because they become war by words, aimed at decimating the enemy with superior firepower. Logic, vocabulary and body language are the weapons deployed by protagonists driven by a visceral need to prove who is right and who is wrong. As though either is ever going to admit defeat! The stage is set for verbal violence and shouting matches. The result ? Mangled relationships that may never be repaired or healed. Hurt, mistrust and misgivings linger for years like radioactivity from a thermo-nuclear blast.
Discussions, on the other hand, are the ultimate relationship builders. Listening and understanding are the watch-words. That's born out of a deep respect for the other person. Respect ensures that even a diametrically opposite point of view is understood even if its not accepted. Can I understand a view point even if I dont agree with it? And, at the end of the day, am I amenable to changing my point of view ? Am I committed to examining a differing point of view dispassionately and then asking myself, can I change or alter my point of view? Am I capable of shifting my position on the basis of fact, logic or ethics? Can I approach my interaction with another person as a learning experience and as an opportunity to change for the better? Then I have the power to change and be changed. That's when self-esteem and relationships deepen and strengthen. And that's when all discussions become win-win.
So, would you like to argue or discuss ? Your choice could make the difference between discord and harmony in all your relationships! |